The longest Good bye….

I reached airport. She was with her mom, dad and bro. Still her eyes were searching for me. Cant tell you how much I love this look of her. But as soon as I reached she said “haan tu ja raha hai ya main ja rahi hun ? Half an hour se wait karwa raha hai airport pe” (I could see her fake anger. If only her parent was not there I would have hugged her for eternity ). Flight was at 3:30AM. I don’t know how we passed 6 hours on airport. I talked to her dad and mom even her brother was comfortable with me. I wanted to sneak out few moments with her in alone just to look at her, just to hold her hands, just to see my love in her eyes, just to confirm if she was feeling the same pain which I was.

Finally the time came when she was about to leave me for I don’t know how long. She was hugging her parent. Her mom was crying and I was concealing her. I can see that she was avoiding eye contact with me. I was emotionless . I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to stop her. A huge part of me was getting apart from me and I was unable to do anything. I wanted to hold her and tell her how much I love her, how much I am going to miss her but I was helpless. But finally she did something which I never expected. She turned toward me and gave me an intense look. I can see the pain in her eyes. The same usual smile which has taken away my heart n no. of times. I just wanted to plant a slow and soft kiss on the left corner of her lips (I don’t know why). Then she said “Jaise hi placement ho jaye to batana” and then she hugged me in front of her parents. I cant explain what I felt that moment. Even after 2 years I am unable to put that feelings in words.

Now she is on the other side of the glass wall of the airport. She filled the immigration form and she was waving her hands to say final good bye to all of us. My heart was not ready for this. I took 2 steps backward so that even if I cry her parent will not able to see. She was waving her hands to her parent and to me but I became stone cold. I was not able to react. I was totally emotionless. I was not reacting at all . But internally I was crying like a baby “don’t go, please don’t go. Thing s will not be the same. You will change. You will forget me and I will not able to take it”. That moment I realized how much I am in love with her. Then she signaled her mom to ask me to say good bye. And then she left. I was watching her going not only from the country but from me, from my life , going away.

Its been more than two years. So many things happened in these years but a part of me is still there at the Delhi Airport waiting for her to come back. At present she don’t want to see me. She don’t have any feelings for me but still don’t know why there is a hope inside me that she will come back and that day I want to be there in front of her waiting for her with open arms.

Some call this stupidity, some call it foolishness. I call it completeness. She completes me. She is not my first love But I want her to be my last love. I am also not her first love but want to be her last.